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About Deviant Artist sxydancegurl911Female/United States Recent Activity
Deviant for 13 Years
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Newest Deviations

Emptyness is a hollowed out sorrow
That eats your soul alive
It feeds until theres nothing left
Except a bitter child inside
Standing in a wilted rose garden
The child, broken and torn
She see's her past, present, and future
Emptyness written on the floor
:iconsxydancegurl911:sxydancegurl911 2 4
Your Gone
When did I,
Become such a whore
The night he was gone
Forever and on
All I ever do
Is get drunk and fuck
But there comes a point
When you want more
More than just sex
More than just drugs
You want true love
A relationship that lasts
Tired of a fake life
But thats all it will ever be
Since he's been gone
Hope is lost
Buried, never to return again
Love doesn't matter
Since you've been gone
:iconsxydancegurl911:sxydancegurl911 0 3
The Blood Has Stopped Running
The blood has stopped running
The tears of hurt
They are done coming out
In the pain of a cut
The anger is gone
Frustration bequethed
Unlike my friends
I am done being that me
That me lived in a cave
Blinds always shut
So that no one could see
The blood from the cut
But the depression is gone
Vains done bleeding
I am out of that hole
The blood has stopped running
:iconsxydancegurl911:sxydancegurl911 0 10
Bad Experience
I'm lying here topeless
And all I see is white
The white ceiling of your room
In a different state of mind
Until I realize
Whats going on
Your lying on top of me
Trying to get it on
Your hands are running
Up and down my leg
But you keep saying
Its all ok
Your teeth are biting
At my breast
Then up to my mouth
You try to kiss
Now I'm sober
Not knowing what to do
I lay there patiently
Until 2
You dress me up
Put me in the car
Take me home
And say, "Thanks for the good time"
:iconsxydancegurl911:sxydancegurl911 0 14
I failed
I let it take me in
Take my heart
My soul
My everything
I sit here
Discusted with myself
I could be someone else
But it'll never end
I'll always have an urge
To get anything sharp
And use it
Against myself
:iconsxydancegurl911:sxydancegurl911 0 13
Lost in a Dream
I don't know what to do
I feel so confused
All my thoughts
Deep inside
Get jumbled up
Or brushed aside
I try so hard
To work them out
But instead
My stomach
Is turned inside out
All I want
Is for this pain to end
To feel
Like a normal person again
Instead I wake up
Wishing I was dead
Feeling so hopeless
Theres no point in trying
I'm drowning
In a pool of red
My twisted thoughts
Are taking over my head
Spinning and spinning
Out of control
No time to think
I'm lost in this dream
:iconsxydancegurl911:sxydancegurl911 0 4
Life sucks
I want to give in
Why am I trapped
In this box
Thats in my head
Nobody understands
No one ever will
They're all to blind
To see what is real
Everyone always says
"I understand"
But do they really?
I don't think they can
They're not me
They never will be
Inside the box
Thats in my head
This is where
My mind will stay
This is where
My life won't sway
All hope lost
Trapped beneath the sand
In that blood red box
That always takes me in
Inside this box
I will stay
Until those demons
Go away
In that box
I find my peace
Then suddenly
It feels like a dream
A dream
That I don't want to end
cause when it does
My spirit will descend
That'll be the end
No more words
As I fade away
Into this world
:iconsxydancegurl911:sxydancegurl911 0 8
My Scar
I cut my leg
And as I bleed
I think of nothing
Nothing but me
My mind becomes empty
Nothing else matters
I'm completly centralized
On the blood on my leg
The deplorable part of life
All fades away
But when the blood stops
And heals on my leg
It all comes back
Back to me
The anguish, the anger
The frustration, the distress
It is never bequethed
Never goes forth
Just like the scar
I've made on my body
I am the scar
Within everybody
These are the scars
I don't want people to see
This part of my heart
Is the sorrowful part of me
Please don't look
I am so disgraced
For being myself
For being me
This is why
I hide my scars
I don't want you
To pity me
Please don't worry
And please don't care
Leave me alone
I'd be better off dead
:iconsxydancegurl911:sxydancegurl911 1 9
You left me without even saying goodbye
All I have left are memories and a torn picture
Inside a locket placed securly around my neck
The way you smiled, the stars in your eyes
The way you walked, with such grace and elegance
But like a dove, floating upon a cloud
Your spirit was slowly leaving
Where did you go?
You faded into the darkness of the night
All thats left is a body with no soul
Inside a casket at the front of a church
There you lay, cold and alone
My broken heart cries with an arrow shot between it
You left me without even saying goodbye
:iconsxydancegurl911:sxydancegurl911 1 2
Whats Love
Do you know what love is?
I don't think you do
You tell it to every girl you meet
And they actually think its true
I love you is not just three words
That you through around like a ball
It means something completly different
Than what your thinking at all
Its not just an everyday phrase
Its a commitment to the one you love
Its saying your willing to take the risk
Of having your heart trampled on
Its saying you would be willing to marry
Whoever you say it to
Your giving a piece of your heart away
But be careful who you give it to
Even after the break up
They'll still hold a warm place in your heart
Because you can't escape them
You'll still love them no matter what
So think twice before you say those three words
It doesn't happen everyday
You just have to wait until the right moment
Until the right person walks your way
:iconsxydancegurl911:sxydancegurl911 2 6
Its late right now
And I'm very tired
I only have one question
Why is it impossible for someone to love me?
Am I really that bad?
Why isn't there anyone who can see through me?
Who knows me better than any other lad
I don't have beautiful brown hair
And I don't have beautiful brown eyes
I don't have a beautiful face
And I don't do my makeup just right
I don't have a perfect smile
My personality bytes
I don't have a perfect body
And my abbs aren't really that tight
I can't overcome you with beauty
And I can't make you stop dead in your tracks
I wish I could be more than I am
But I'm not and I can't
I know I'm not that pretty
And I know I'm not that smart
But aren't I supposed to have a soul mate?
That will love me till death do us part
:iconsxydancegurl911:sxydancegurl911 0 9
Your feeling alone
You don't want to go home
No one loves you, no one cares
All you have is yourself
Your existence doesn't matter
Your time on earth is to long
Your hopes and dreams are shattered
You'd be better off gone
No matter what they've said
No matter what they've done
You still feel alone
And it just feels wrong
You don't want them to know
The feelings you have inside
So you put on a show
And try your hardest to hide
You can not fight the pain
That you feel inside
Theres no one you can talk to
Cause you brush everyone aside
Your time here is lost
Your time here is spent
Your drifting away
Theres no turning back
:iconsxydancegurl911:sxydancegurl911 2 11
The room I'm in is getting smaller
Crunching me into small peices
Which will be served as dinner
To the demon in my tourchered soul
As he eats
I scream with all my might
This fire red demon is eating me alive
For I was not dead
When he began to crunch into my broken heart
Death is upon me
Its to late to replace what I've lost
Theres no turning back
I'm already in hell
I've killed the demon who ate me alive
Along with my spirit, body, and soul
But memories of me shall live on
Thats all that survived through these steps of hell
:iconsxydancegurl911:sxydancegurl911 2 7
Everyday you wake up
But do you ever feel like just staying in bed?
You don't want to get up
You don't want to face the world your in
Your time would be better spent in bed
Sleeping, instead of facing the life you live
Whenever you wake up with high hopes
They crash, like a meteor in the sky
Crumbling before your very eyes
So you learn to keep those hopes down low
But they go to low and you get lost in yourself
Before you know it your cutting
Twelve on the left, seven on the right
Its addicting, you can't stop
Until finally your angers released and your satisfied
You sleep, you wake, and it happens all over again
Do you ever feel like that?
I do.
:iconsxydancegurl911:sxydancegurl911 1 11
Mature content
Six Sorries :iconsxydancegurl911:sxydancegurl911 0 11


Its To Late by GavN Its To Late :icongavn:GavN 94 63 Dancing by Jchild Dancing :iconjchild:Jchild 4 12
The Days...
The Days...
today I start my journey
this one will never end
my forst few steps are like
those of a child,
weak and unsure
tomorrow my steps may
take more form
and I become stronger in my walk
i look up on it
and see the old
and how I was
Now is what I have
today is nothing more then
the first steps
tomorrow is what I long for
and yesterday is nothing
but yesterday...
:iconlonelyandconfused:LonelyandConfused 1 5
Your Blue-eyed Pain
I never thought I'd hear from you again
I never even thought of you as being my friend
but hear I am writing a poem
because my feelings to you I wanna show em'
the blonde and white and also the blue
were traits that attracted me to you
to my surprise it didn't go the way I expected
instead another road is what you directed
secrets both yours and mine
have struck in a way we cant leave behind
beautiful your eyes as much as your soul
hide secrets that you cant seem to let go
excuse me for judging you and my deepest apologies
I've just come to known your deepest realities
cuts are a window to your problems and tears
your body is what your red blood smears
scars are left to show the tears and the pain
yet you claim the cuts distracts those tears and that pain
all I see is a problem that continues to re-enact
and a girl committing a suffering act
please don't be mad hurt you I intend not to
you're a beautiful girl and I've grown to care for you
I hope that you do know I care
you go through
:iconlostballer:LoStBaLLeR 1 1
always loved your crooked idea
hello my name is blank
i like long walks on the beach
with chemical barrles floating beneath
the glistening black sea
hello my name is blank
i like talking about my problems
while perched on a ten story building
begging to be pushed off
hello my name is blank
i like screaming into a microphone
so you can finally know
how much i hate you and your trend
hello my name is blank
i love you and your mistakes
they feed my romantic, optimistic
sense of freedom
hello my name is blank
i write poems for my own mind
not for you to critque
my form of expression, not depression
hello my name is blank
this is what i do for fun
tear apart the social standings
of what you thought was god
hello my name is blank
this is my world of love and hate
i hope you enjoy what i say
cause tis made my fucking day
:iconweallhavetolive:weallhavetolive 2 8
Saphire Love - DevineSilence by dapride
Mature content
Saphire Love - DevineSilence :icondapride:dapride 28 33
Choice of Betrayal
One moment happens to fast
That one moment seems to last
In sickness I sang to her
My passion she claimed
Her eyes they called to me
and represented my flame
I never turned from her
but now I find
The choice she has made is bound
and it's killing me inside my mind
The other called to her
and spoke her name
A strange triangle formed
where they had been gone
but soon the other ran
so she had hidden scars
She can't hide forever
and it's killing me inside
Her choice is the other
she knows I know that
but still I remember
When I straightened up
and was there for her
she hurt my pride
I can still stand tall and say
Her choice is him
and it's killing me inside my mind
Her choice of betrayal
has found its stream
and there she sits
fixated with that gleam
on that same rock
that she threw at my head
I'm in solitude
and it's killing me inside
Heaven isn't close
my soul she claimed
Heaven isn't close
for a sinner's named
that sinner can't be me
for now I find
Her choice calls me used
and it's kill
:icontappergurl:tappergurl 1 8
Forbidden Love - l33tg4m3r
How fair you are, my admiration hides
inside your tender clasp of careful grace.
Our sacred time, though brief, of countless tides
outshines the lonely grief of countless pace.
And I, your slave, am bound your myriad cares
and faithful am I, tend to all aspire.
All moral braved, but only simple dare,
and challenged, though all consequences dire.
And through, but faith alone, do I but walk
unhidden from the scalding sin of shame;
my constant fear, my blinded guilt, still haunts
the days that I still yet have left to tame.
But lo, my love will last the day until
I pass; and I will love forever still.
:icondapride:dapride 7 22
Close Up by charkole Close Up :iconcharkole:charkole 697 179
understand me
I can feel the sight of a painted picture of sounds and word,
I can taste the numbness, the feelings never heard.
I hold on tight to nothing, falling fast standing in place,
Why is it when nothings there, it becomes the hardest to erase.
Do you know this feeling of lovely pain and hateful hearts,
I fall back into a standing position as the bleeding starts.
A bleeding heart too red to be ignored by the feeling,
The hidden truth of lies this failing heart is concealing.
I am screaming as quite as I can, making no noise, shattering glass,
I am begging for forgiveness for someone elses past.
Because it controls my mind, I can't think thoughtless thoughts anymore,
The thoughts of her silients lips is too loud to ignore.
I notice I can't breathe as I watch my frozen breath,
My hearts chilled over by the cold hand of death.
I can feel it surround me while my numb body lie still,
I'm falling into my own soul, worried of what it might reveal.
How can three unspoken words be repeated in my head,
:iconihiphop2much:Ihiphop2much 6 14
Even Angles Cry by OoBroken-WingsoO Even Angles Cry :iconoobroken-wingsoo:OoBroken-WingsoO 4 8 Lost in Memory by vampyr79 Lost in Memory :iconvampyr79:vampyr79 3 49
Cutters Anthem
once for the pain
twice for the fun
three times for the looks
you're almost done
four for the laugh
you're losing blood
five is the last
now your done
it looks so easy
it looks so fun
til you look in the sink
and see the flood
the red drips down the drain
the crimson in the light
reflects you darkest pain
and shows the end of your life
so write you letter
say your prayers
the last drop hit the ceramic
all thats left is that last drop
all you are is a lonely stain
:iconweallhavetolive:weallhavetolive 4 13
_ 'space'
She walks through winter
holding her heart on a silver chain
around her neck
She can see that she will fall
but she stands up
to greet it
She holds her burning heart
so that it won't break
and hides the glow with her fist
And her heart cries tears of fire
that shatter as they slip
running off her fingertips
fiery shards of frozen tears
She struggles to stand
while crowds flow around her
ignoring the burning heart-glow
shining through her eyes
How can she know what hell is like
when heaven radiates from her
illuminating her grace
and running through her tear-streaked fingers?
:iconang3lboy2001:ang3lboy2001 2 2
far away by ssilence far away :iconssilence:ssilence 15,814 2,613




United States
Current Residence: Los Gatos
Favourite genre of music: Rock, metal, country, classical, pop, rap, Jazz.....I'll pretty much listen to anything
Favourite cartoon character: bugs bunny
Personal Quote: sucks for you.
Hey everyone. I'm so sorry I've been neglecting my deviantart work. I've been really busy with friends and school. I've run away about 2 or 3 times in the last few months. Its kind of been a confusing time in my life. I'm still not aloud to make any kind of contact with Tim until I'm 17. But I might not even get to see him then. I found out that he signed up for the army. Right now he's in Texas for 6 months of training and then he's shipped off to Iraq. As soon as I heard that news I burst into tears. I mean, I know he most likely won't die or anything but theres still a big chance that he could. I miss him so much and I can't waite to see him again. I love him so much.

p.s. I promise I'll try really hard to concentrate on DA stuff more.  


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Ihiphop2much Featured By Owner May 11, 2005   Writer
DANCE! DANCE for me! Message me on AIM
sxydancegurl911 Featured By Owner May 18, 2005
hey, the next time I'm on I will. I've just been really busy with ballroom and latin dancing that I haven't had a lot of time to go on aim. But I hopefully will talk to you soon.
SocietySux Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2005
Thanks for the fave on Forbidden Fruit!
sxydancegurl911 Featured By Owner May 3, 2005
welcome. =)
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